Not Overheard -

"Everyone is so overwhelmed by the hospitality. And so many of the people in the arena here, you know, were underprivileged anyway, so this, this is working very well for them"
-Barbara Bush, commenting on the temporary shelter in the Astrodome, described by John Nichols as "cots crammed side-by-side in a huge stadium where the lights never go out and the sound of sobbing children never completely ceases"

Hey, Barb! Got some fucking cake for these people? It seems they don't have any bread! Eh, they were poor anyway, so who cares if their homes got wiped out and they spent a week neglected among corpses and shit, rapists and thugs. This is really working very well for them.

(here's where I got this lovely story )

Overheard in rock gym:
"Four years of monagamy!! Do you know how much tail I could've gotten??" -irate dude at the end of a relationship.
I'm glad he didn't elaborate.

5-and-Diner (overheard by my marvelous cousin):
"His backup chute failed too... I will never win the lottery. I will, however, splat."
I'm still trying to figure this one out. Did this diner really know someone whose backup parachute failed? Eep! At least they acknowledge that they will never win the lottery.

I Forgot Where:
"Don't tell mommy what to do! I'm not your kitty!" -mom to 6-yr old
Have you ever tried to tell a kitty what to do? Heh, best of luck with that. I suspect the results will be the same with mommy.