overheard

eavesdropping for the technologically savvy

Sunday, December 24, 2006

"It smells like barf!"
-kid in the grocery store parking lot

Kids are hilarious. We were in line at Target last weekend, and the 5-year old behind us decided to get chatty. A few steps into the conversation:

me: So how old are you?
kid: I'm 5. How old are you?
me: I'm 29.
Her eyes widen, like I'm the oldest person she's ever met.
kid: (softly) Ohhhh. Do you have kids?
me: No, not yet.
kid: Why not? When are you going to have kids?
me: Geez, you and my mother! Um.....
kid: When you get pregnant?
me: (relieved) Yep. When I get pregnant.
kid: When you get pregnant, you can't bend over. Can you bend over now?
me: (suppressing laughter at her father, who looks horrified) Yeah, I think I can bend over!
kid: Show me!

Not being one to bend over on command, I laughed and paid for my purchases, as the kid tried to convince her dad that I really should show her that I can bend over. Just to make sure I'm not pregnant, I guess? Cheapest pregnancy test ever!

And this wasn't overheard, but how many times in the history of Ever do you think this has been said?

"I need to dust my fez."
-my husband

On the unusual personal note:
So, I went to church with my mom today. Don't worry, I'm still a non-believing heathen. But I did want to sing Christmas songs, and she was so completely happy to have some company. It was a pretty weird experience, seeing everyone with whom I used to be a Believer. But we were late (by my design) and I left right after Sacrament meeting, so I didn't have to chat with anyone. And then I went home and put on my slutty Excommunicated Mormon Drinking Team micro-tank and went to the bar. (Except that Four Peaks was closed, so I changed my shirt and we went to Chompies instead. Hey, I tried.)

Happy holidays, everyone! This includes Boxing Day, Kwanzaa, Do-Mi-Do Denser Than Balsa Wood Day, National Whiner's Day, Day of the Wren (Ireland), Junkanoo (Bahamas), Day of Goodwill (South Africa) and Mao Tze-Tung's birthday, all of which are on December 26th. Woo!

3 Comments:

  • At 6:52 PM, Blogger The Poor Barn Mom said…

    First of all, what's a fez? And it that's a totally stupid question I apologize in advance to Mr. Blue.

    So you didn't get to talk to my parents at church?! Oh, they will be so dissapointed that they couldn't weasel more info out of you about their heathen daughter....lol! Seriously, you are to be commended for doing that for your mom. I adore your mom.

    Happy Festivus to everyone!

     
  • At 12:38 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Kids can be such joys and asses at the same time!! BTW, I have 3 said asses here at the house! I want a
    shirt like yours...sounds like fun!! Happy New Year!

     
  • At 11:05 PM, Blogger zandperl said…

    Hee, kids rock! :)

    CC: A fez is a type of hat of Middle Eastern origin.

     

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