"Yup, the most famous stuff on earth: duct tape."
-Wilderness Survival Teacher Person

That might not be strictly true, but I hope it's at least in the top 100.

You know when people ask questions because they want to seem smart, and it just backfires in such a major way? We have one of those in our class. Oh, so many questions does she ask.

"Um, so I know you shouldn't drink alcohol to warm up in the wilderness, but could you bring, like, a flask, of like tequila or something, for like cleaning wounds and stuff?"
-Dumb Girl in Class

The look on the teacher's face was priceless as he tried to think of something that wasn't equivalent to saying "They're called tiny little rubbing alcohol wipes, dumbass!!"

I'm gonna go have a beer and sit on the couch. YEAH.