I'm just cutting and pasting this from an e-mail I sent to seven-of-two and Corn Child, because I am too busy trying to keep my cat from consuming styrofoam peanuts. Why do I have styrofoam peanuts? Read on!

"We drove up after a long day at work and there was a package outside.
Strange, it's after the holidays and we didn't order anything. And I
can't think of a reason that someone would want to bomb our carport. I
got out of the car and inspected the box. Blue! With flowers on it!
And it says 'PajamaGram' on the side!! All of these things point to
fun and happiness. It's from my dad's brother, who didn't get to come
to the wedding, so I surmise that it's a belated wedding gift. Whee!

The 'PajamaGram' box says on the side "We all know how crazy,
fast-paced, and hectic the world can be, and we hope that this gift
brings you a bit of comfort and relaxation." Wow, that sounded damn
good to me, especially after my crazy, fast-paced, and hectic day. So
I opened the box.

It was a Bible and a Book of Mormon.

Did someone not get the memo that I *apostatized*? And that I married
a *Jew*? And that you don't have to BUY the Book of Mormon; you can
get it for free, and as I was a member for, oh, TWENTY FIVE YEARS that
I might already have a copy or twelve??"

Yeah. That's what happened today.