After several incoherent ones, I got this randomly generated haiku
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
I'm just cutting and pasting this from an e-mail I sent to seven-of-two and Corn Child, because I am too busy trying to keep my cat from consuming styrofoam peanuts. Why do I have styrofoam peanuts? Read on!
"We drove up after a long day at work and there was a package outside.
Strange, it's after the holidays and we didn't order anything. And I
can't think of a reason that someone would want to bomb our carport. I
got out of the car and inspected the box. Blue! With flowers on it!
And it says 'PajamaGram' on the side!! All of these things point to
fun and happiness. It's from my dad's brother, who didn't get to come
to the wedding, so I surmise that it's a belated wedding gift. Whee!
The 'PajamaGram' box says on the side "We all know how crazy,
fast-paced, and hectic the world can be, and we hope that this gift
brings you a bit of comfort and relaxation." Wow, that sounded damn
good to me, especially after my crazy, fast-paced, and hectic day. So
I opened the box.
It was a Bible and a Book of Mormon.
Did someone not get the memo that I *apostatized*? And that I married
a *Jew*? And that you don't have to BUY the Book of Mormon; you can
get it for free, and as I was a member for, oh, TWENTY FIVE YEARS that
I might already have a copy or twelve??"
Yeah. That's what happened today.
"We drove up after a long day at work and there was a package outside.
Strange, it's after the holidays and we didn't order anything. And I
can't think of a reason that someone would want to bomb our carport. I
got out of the car and inspected the box. Blue! With flowers on it!
And it says 'PajamaGram' on the side!! All of these things point to
fun and happiness. It's from my dad's brother, who didn't get to come
to the wedding, so I surmise that it's a belated wedding gift. Whee!
The 'PajamaGram' box says on the side "We all know how crazy,
fast-paced, and hectic the world can be, and we hope that this gift
brings you a bit of comfort and relaxation." Wow, that sounded damn
good to me, especially after my crazy, fast-paced, and hectic day. So
I opened the box.
It was a Bible and a Book of Mormon.
Did someone not get the memo that I *apostatized*? And that I married
a *Jew*? And that you don't have to BUY the Book of Mormon; you can
get it for free, and as I was a member for, oh, TWENTY FIVE YEARS that
I might already have a copy or twelve??"
Yeah. That's what happened today.
Monday, January 08, 2007
I have to say (after posting about it on Corn Child's blog... maybe) that I am not a fan of how Blogger is now all smooched up with my Gmail account like two seventh-graders in the bike racks after school. NOT A FAN. Although I wonder if Mr. Blue would be willing to find a bike rack and make out.... hmm....
I was going to post about the lady at the dry cleaners who went TOTALLY BATSHIT INSANE last week when I was there, but it's kind of a long story. Well, not really... I'll write it and then go have a beer in the shower (because I had a weird Alaskan math TA who talked about how he was doing that one time, and it really is kind of a cool thing).
So I went to the dry cleaners. It's not the place I usually go, but it's damn convenient so I thought I'd try it out. The complex is under construction, but all the shops are open. I went in and the one other customer in the store was droning on about getting his pillow back. "Uhmmm... welllllll... can you call me when you think it's going to be in?" What, you have ONE special pillow? You can't use another one for a few days?? Never mind, don't tell me about it. The lady at the counter seemed a little frazzled. She also had bright red hair (fire engine) and a big fake fur coat. The pillow issue was resolved and nasally-drone-man left. The lady turned and leaned her head against the wall, which was kind of weird. I casually mentioned that I would like to drop off some clothes. She walks in the back for a few minutes and wanders around. . Then the construction dudes outside started their drilling again, and she screamed:
"I can't take it anymore! It sounds like a dentist's drill!!!!!"
She runs outside and starts berating the construction dudes, who respond as if she does this five times a day. She's standing right in front of the door, so I can't run! She comes back inside and finally acknowledges my clothes. Much stress is had in writing me a reciept. I feel totally freaked out, and kind of embarassed at being so emotionally close to a stranger. I get outta there ASAP, along with another customer who was going to pick up his clothes but decided against it! Probably wise.
I'm not totally heartless; I mean, I feel bad for this lady, and I'm sure it's not fun to listen to construction all day. But whooooaaaa, things just got a leetle too emotional in there for me!
I did get all my dry cleaning back, though.
I was going to post about the lady at the dry cleaners who went TOTALLY BATSHIT INSANE last week when I was there, but it's kind of a long story. Well, not really... I'll write it and then go have a beer in the shower (because I had a weird Alaskan math TA who talked about how he was doing that one time, and it really is kind of a cool thing).
So I went to the dry cleaners. It's not the place I usually go, but it's damn convenient so I thought I'd try it out. The complex is under construction, but all the shops are open. I went in and the one other customer in the store was droning on about getting his pillow back. "Uhmmm... welllllll... can you call me when you think it's going to be in?" What, you have ONE special pillow? You can't use another one for a few days?? Never mind, don't tell me about it. The lady at the counter seemed a little frazzled. She also had bright red hair (fire engine) and a big fake fur coat. The pillow issue was resolved and nasally-drone-man left. The lady turned and leaned her head against the wall, which was kind of weird. I casually mentioned that I would like to drop off some clothes. She walks in the back for a few minutes and wanders around. . Then the construction dudes outside started their drilling again, and she screamed:
"I can't take it anymore! It sounds like a dentist's drill!!!!!"
She runs outside and starts berating the construction dudes, who respond as if she does this five times a day. She's standing right in front of the door, so I can't run! She comes back inside and finally acknowledges my clothes. Much stress is had in writing me a reciept. I feel totally freaked out, and kind of embarassed at being so emotionally close to a stranger. I get outta there ASAP, along with another customer who was going to pick up his clothes but decided against it! Probably wise.
I'm not totally heartless; I mean, I feel bad for this lady, and I'm sure it's not fun to listen to construction all day. But whooooaaaa, things just got a leetle too emotional in there for me!
I did get all my dry cleaning back, though.
Monday, January 01, 2007
We went to Four Peaks for lunch, and the girl at the next table started talking to a friend about how she doesn't floss:
"Wow! I mean, I'm so impressed that you floss! I never floss. I always say I'm going to floss, but I never do."
The conversational topic didn't really catch on at her table - it's probably true that very few people floss on a regular basis, but discussing the lapses in one's own oral hygiene program over lunch is still a bit taboo. The funny thing is that I didn't hear anything else from that table the whole time - that girl was just really loud about her not-flossing!
Not much to say, just "Happy New Year!" to everybody! Now, I must go drink some more water.... calm, soothing, restorative water.... and perhaps something really bland to munch on... :)
"Wow! I mean, I'm so impressed that you floss! I never floss. I always say I'm going to floss, but I never do."
The conversational topic didn't really catch on at her table - it's probably true that very few people floss on a regular basis, but discussing the lapses in one's own oral hygiene program over lunch is still a bit taboo. The funny thing is that I didn't hear anything else from that table the whole time - that girl was just really loud about her not-flossing!
Not much to say, just "Happy New Year!" to everybody! Now, I must go drink some more water.... calm, soothing, restorative water.... and perhaps something really bland to munch on... :)
