overheard

eavesdropping for the technologically savvy

Wednesday, April 21, 2004

'Crystal Magic', Sedona, AZ

"...and then they're not channeling who they THINK they're channelling..."

A man at the cash register of said hippie store explained patiently to a woman in pink sweatpants and a cowboy hat. Yup, they always think it's Marilyn Monroe, when it's really just a bored post-mortem housewife from Minnesota.

The other employee in the store (mid-60's woman in midieval peasant garb) seemed really vicious: "It's WAY too cold in here!!!" she hissed at the register guy. So much for all those crystals mellowing out your karma.

Last note to all those who wish their auras to be grammatically aligned: the plural of vortex is VORTICES. Not "vortexes", as the Sedona literature would have you believe.

Thursday, April 08, 2004

At the Olive Garden:

"He stole my dog. But I knew he'd bring it back."
-woman, mid-40's

Sounds like a country song!

"You know, though, how sometimes dirt can taste good?"
-different woman, mid-40's

Tuesday, April 06, 2004

Wow! Blog inspired poetry from my cousin, who totally rocks!

"> >Oh I lost my girlish laughter
> >The day I turned 13
> >I went to try on swimsuits
> >With no boobs to be seen
> >I sat and cried for half a day
> >But one does not get boobs that way
> >I'll hafta wait a year or so for boobies
> >
> >I lost my girlish laughter
> >the day I turned 14
> >I went to try on swimsuits
> >Still no boobs to be seen
> >I sat and cried for half a day
> >I stilll did not get boobs that way
> >I'll hafta wait another year for boobies
> >
> >I found my girlish laughter
> >The day I turned 18
> >Forgot about my boobies
> >Cus' I'd found some self-esteem
> >My boobies I may never find
> >But that's okay, I've got a mind!
> >And if I want to, I can buy some boobies!"

I can't stop laughing!! Thanks, dear cousin of mine. Her blog address is:

http://www.members.cox.net/den-of-slack

and I would HIGHLY recommend the pig story.
Chag Sameach, everybody! And might I recommend this fabulous Classical music station from Oslo?

http://www.nrk.no/alltidklassisk/

On the other side of the radio spectrum, we have a lovely example of mis-conjugation:

"Sometimes he makes macaroni and cheese for the kids, but most times he makes real nutritional food..."
-Miss Conjugation, a caller to the Delilah Show. Is it a requirement that all callers to her show sound like total hicks?

*I want to make sure everybody knows that I don't make a regular point of listening to the Delilah Show, but I will cruise by it while flipping channels in case they're playing something craptastic and bleat-worthy like Chicago's 'You're the Inspiration'. Ahem.

Sunday, April 04, 2004

There are a lot of people quoted in this blog that I don't understand. People of all stripes say random and stupid things sometimes. But the thing I understand least of all is silence. There's a time and a place for it, sure. But I don't understand when someone who has called themselves a friend makes a 180-degree turn and walks right out of my life, with no explanation or probable cause. It's happened twice, and the thing that makes it so strange is that these people were friends - very close ones. I'd almost expect it if it were a romantic involvement (of course, I'm extremely acidic and expect only the worst from romance). I've only decided to not be friends with one person, ever, and I made sure that person knew exactly why. So while I have focused my blog around people who say bizarre and incomprehensible things, they truly pale in comparison with those who choose, at the most critical of times, to say absolutely nothing at all.

That being said, an overheard from my cousin, who totally rocks.

In the dressing room:

"Mom?"

("Yes?")

pause

"I have no boobs."

-girl trying on swimsuits, approx. 12 years old.

I feel your pain, sister, mine didn't come in until I was 20.

Thursday, April 01, 2004

"Bob Villa? That guy's INSANE!"
-cubicle next-door neighbor

Yes, there was a description here. But I took it off, because I got to know the guy a bit, and he was very nice. He also treated me with respect, which I didn't really do in the previous version of this posting. Why do I mention it now? I don't know. Confessional syndrome, I suppose. Pretending like I never said anything rude about the guy seemed too underhanded, but leaving it up was too... mean? He certainly wouldn't ever be in a position to read this. I suppose I just ended up thinking how I'd feel if he did. But I wouldn't mind it if the other people mentioned in this blog read what I said about them. I mean, if you're a carrot-stick conductor on an airplane, or a sorority girl who thinks tiramisu includes veggies, or a dude named Beef - well, you've gotta know you're a freak. Right?