On the back of a black van, driving down the freeway last night:

"NINJAS FOR HIRE!
CALL 1-800-HIE-YA!!!!!"

I really want to hire some ninjas but I can't find the [!] button on my phone!


Woman, to collection agent:
"I gave my bills to Jesus!"

Instead of doing something cool tonight, like painting or even just making lunch for tomorrow, I changed my blog. There is now an uninformative profile, and you can make comments. One more hour of my life, gone forever... and I wasn't even getting paid for it!

I forgot to mention that while on vacation, Q and I saw a very scary late-nite preacher on TV.. actually speaking in tongues! It was great. In the middle of exhorting people to send him their money, he would just go "Haaalabalamalajaaaaah", without even pausing, and then leap right back into the money part. It was amazing.

We went to New York. And I wish I had a really discreet little spy camera, so I could post pictures of people I saw on the subway. Like the guy in the white wifebeater tank top with a bunch of gold chains and huge sunglasses, leaning back against the door like he was trying not to put his fist through the wall. But I suspect that taking pictures of strangers in the subway is a good way to get hurt, so you'll just have to imagine him.


New York City, Museum of Modern Art:

"You don't know art!!"
-huffy guy to his irritated girlfriend

There was also a woman wandering around with a photo cutout of herself and a kid... and taking pictures of it in front of various paintings. "Look, Stevie, here's us immersed in Jackson Pollack! And with Andy Warhol's soup cans!" Hmm, interesting idea, but it might work better in a photography exhibit.


Chicago Airport:

"Okay, you know the rules. Don't touch anything and keep your junk off the seat. "
-Biker Dad to his two little boys

(OK, I didn't overhear that one, my boyfriend did. I'm not about to go hopping gender lines in public bathrooms to catch this stuff!)


Also, the karaoke place we went to had a whole bunch of children's songs... we did 'Baa Baa Black Sheep' because we were tipsy and thought it was really funny.